![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Oct. 25th, 2008 09:08 amHorrible dream last night. I dreamed I was at my parent's house, but my father wasn't there, just my mother. We were getting ready to eat, when she suddenly got rigid, dropped the bowl in her hand, then collapsed on the floor. I was trying to get a response, and she finally came out of it, like waking up. She was trying to tell me she was fine, we should just sit down and eat. I was insistent that she go to the ER. That's when it hit me -- the nearest hospital I knew of was in Lubbock, over an hour away. There might be one in Plainview, only about 45 min away, but I wasn't sure. If I called an ambulance, it would be two hours before she got to the hospital. If I took her in the car, I could get her there in an hour, but what if something happened on the way? I'm standing there, trying to make a decision, while she insists she doesn't need to go anywhere. Then she collapses again and goes into convulsions, and I'm terrified and paralyzed and I don't know what to do!
That's when I woke up. And awake realized there would have been more options now than when I lived there -- the town has it's own ambulance and a volunteer EMS. Also there is a care center in town now with a full nursing wing and an Alzheimer's wing, so there must be some sort of medical personnel there. So I started trying to figure out if there was a reason for the dream. Maybe it was just general anxiety about my parent's health. Mom is 78 with various health problems, and Dad is 81 and has had a triple bypass. Maybe it's about needing to plan ahead more in my life -- Mom was big in the movement that got the EMS unit going. She and some friends started the care center so that when the time came they could not live on their own, they would have somewhere to go that they trusted, in their own community. Mom plans ahead for EVERYTHING. She has not only picked out her nursing home, she has planned her funeral and written obituaries for herself and Dad, complete with pictures. Not obsessed with decline and death, just getting the details taken care of so she can enjoy her life.
Maybe it's my own health. I've been sick since the Horrible, Terrible, No-good Three Day Weekend until about a week or two ago. Things went up and down for a while, including a trip to the ER and a weekend in the hospital while they decided whether the shortness of breath and pressure in my chest was my heart or my lungs. The vote finally went to the lungs, with a diagnosis of asthma, and I've been feeling better the last week or two. But that's one more health problem to deal with, and more pills and inhalers. Ya know, getting old sucks, but I guess it beats the alternative.
I'm thinking of joining NaBloPoMo, the National Blog Posting Month, where you post to your blog every day in November. I comment a lot on other peoples journals, but I rarely post to my own, and I want to get into the habit. No way do I have the creativity to do NaNoWriMo, but I may be able to handle this.
That's when I woke up. And awake realized there would have been more options now than when I lived there -- the town has it's own ambulance and a volunteer EMS. Also there is a care center in town now with a full nursing wing and an Alzheimer's wing, so there must be some sort of medical personnel there. So I started trying to figure out if there was a reason for the dream. Maybe it was just general anxiety about my parent's health. Mom is 78 with various health problems, and Dad is 81 and has had a triple bypass. Maybe it's about needing to plan ahead more in my life -- Mom was big in the movement that got the EMS unit going. She and some friends started the care center so that when the time came they could not live on their own, they would have somewhere to go that they trusted, in their own community. Mom plans ahead for EVERYTHING. She has not only picked out her nursing home, she has planned her funeral and written obituaries for herself and Dad, complete with pictures. Not obsessed with decline and death, just getting the details taken care of so she can enjoy her life.
Maybe it's my own health. I've been sick since the Horrible, Terrible, No-good Three Day Weekend until about a week or two ago. Things went up and down for a while, including a trip to the ER and a weekend in the hospital while they decided whether the shortness of breath and pressure in my chest was my heart or my lungs. The vote finally went to the lungs, with a diagnosis of asthma, and I've been feeling better the last week or two. But that's one more health problem to deal with, and more pills and inhalers. Ya know, getting old sucks, but I guess it beats the alternative.
I'm thinking of joining NaBloPoMo, the National Blog Posting Month, where you post to your blog every day in November. I comment a lot on other peoples journals, but I rarely post to my own, and I want to get into the habit. No way do I have the creativity to do NaNoWriMo, but I may be able to handle this.
